After disembarking (is that a word?!) the plane, we had to wait for the stroller for about 10 minutes, I was holding Fi in my arms and this airport employee was chatting to me casually. I never noticed her staring at Fi, I am very tuned in like that so I would have picked up on it. Once the stroller arrived we said our good byes and headed off... Budapest airport uses those mobile tunnel things, I never realized how much they echo, until I could clearly hear this woman say to her colleague (the one who delivered our stroller): "Surely that baby couldn't have been healthy, she had a fucking big head and a huge forehead."
I was shocked, firstly that I could hear it, secondly her choice of words (not the swearing, I do that a lot myself), but more the accuracy of her observation without me ever noticing her staring and thirdly how noone ever passed any comment in Ireland where there are zillions of babies and people know everything about them (well one Canadian woman did, but she is a doped out musician so she doesn't count :-))and how in the first 10 minutes after arriving to my tolerant home country I would run into something like that.
Yes, I have been very aware of her macrocephaly and large forehead, I just didn't expect others to do so too. And yes, when I saw her next to my sister's 7 months old she does have a large head which is differently shaped. I know that she "will grow into her head", yes, she will probably always have a large head but it will never be as large compared to the rest it is such a fascinating subject, the vast majority of her head growth has already happened. Her head grew an incredible 12 cm in the first year of her life, it will grow another 3-4 cm this second year if it follows her current curve of +2 SD and then 7 cm all together in the next 16 years, that is quite astonishing, isn't it?! I also know that having more hair will help.
So here we are. I am so glad that Fi is completely unaware, yet in a weird way I think its strangely unfair on her, that we have been going through all this worry and emotion all the time and she is oblivious to it all, it's almost as if we were taking behind her back. I do want her to be oblivious to as much of our worry as possible, of course, but it makes me feel like we are almost cheating on her, that we can't enjoy her babyhood and toddlerhood without all this baggage.
Having said that, I think the reason why I am so shocked that this woman has picked up on it, is because I am so used to her proportions that of course I don't notice it all the time and she is such a cute and clever baby that I have stopped thinking about her condition all the time. She is our wittiest child for sure and we love her.
Here she is with her nana and sisters.
Fi is a beautiful baby- I wouldn't think anything of her forehead shape if I saw her on the street. What a sweet pic! I look forward to more.
ReplyDeleteWe got back and forth all the time about Belalu's forehead. I had a very long forehead, so she looks a lot like me as a baby, but the geneticist told us that she has a prominent forehead. As you said, I'm so used to it, I really can't tell if she does or not.
I keep thinking about what that woman said and how she said it. My protective-mother instincts would have made me want to turn around and tell her a thing or two about how she talked about my daughter, but my society-polite self would probably have let it go. But, why should I be polite when she so clearly wasn't? (Even if she didn't mean for you to hear it). I have a long way to go before I've perfected the art of the stranger-reply.
ReplyDeleteYou are very sweet, but Fi's head does look different. I think Dr Pauli will probably tell you that B has very mild bi-partial bossing, not frontal bossing or a prominent forehead. Fi has that as well, basically it's the sides of her skull that stick out a bit more hence the shape. Although she may be developing some frontal bossing as well, not sure. I do think though that B's lucky to have loads of long hair... Her head also seems a LOT smaller than Fi's. Fi's head is +2 SD and her height is -3 SD on the average height chart. SOrry for analyzing the looks of your child, it's not like there are that many kids with HCH who are around a year old... :-)
ReplyDeleteI am fairly sure the lady would have denied that she had commented about Fi, had I asked her. I was more stunned by how precise her description was as opposed to her choice of words...
It's really amazing, their head growth. LH's grew 12cm in the first year too. And he's got the huge forehead. When I hear people make those kind of remarks out loud, it makes me wonder what everyone else is thinking...
ReplyDelete(and I had to laugh at the doped Canadian womam comment...lol! ;)
Noella, The Canadian woman is actually a friend, she is a rock musician hence the whole doped out thing... The thing is she mentioned Fi's head before I got around to telling her about her condition and now I am too afraid I will embarrass her if I tell her... so we stay in silence :-)
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